Okay, so Barack "Barry" "Saddam" Hussein "Osama" Obama has somehow become the president. In all fairness to John McCain, he was up against huge odds vying to be another Republican commander-in-chief after eight years of that evil, evil despot George W. Bush. All the Democratic opponent had to do was just what Barry (what I call Obama) did. He won the election on ONE WORD: Change (of course). His version of "change" was hiring that breath of new, fresh air Joe Biden.
It's the revenge of the liberals from the Vietnam era. There are two schools of thought at odds here. One is the Barry school, which finds value in bombers like Bill Ayers who protested the Vietnam war by violently destroying property and endangering human lives. The other school is that of John McCain and his brethren: American heroes that suffered immeasurably for our country. As Arnold Schwarzenegger said recently "John McCain spent more time being tortured at the Hanoi Hilton than Barack Obama has spent in the U.S. Senate." I'm sad to report that the first school of thought won the day last tuesday.
Was there voter fraud from Barry's buddies ACORN in this close election? Will the media investigate that? I think we all know the answer. Now, in America today it's somehow acceptable to have Black Panthers outside voting places with nightsticks? There's video of this should you wish to see it. Barry hasn't spoken out against it. Then again, that Black Panther could just be making sure enough people vote for John McCain. But Barry's friends Bill Ayers and Bernardine Dohrn and the so-called "weather underground" bombed a judge's house in the middle of the night as he presided over a Black Panthers trial. So Barry gets yet another pass. That's going to be one of the hardest things about the next four years (at least) -- the media will cover for, and spin his every mistake. Not simply because they love him and helped get him elected, but because, since they did that, THEY don't want to look stupid if the guy's a dud. So they will use the full force of the media to whitewash, or, should I say "half-whitewash" the truth.
How far we have come since 9/11. Perhaps we should be proud. Islamic terrorists committed this atrocity, and shortly thereafter we went into Iraq to depose Saddam Hussein. Seven short years later, we elect as our president a "former" Muslim whose middle name is Hussein. The world is upside down. I don't understand anything anymore.
Entire books have been written about why you shouldn't vote for Barry, so I won't get into a long diatribe here. Politics seem to be like a pendulum: a swing towards Bush, then a huge swing back towards a radical leftist. I just wish the pendulum hadn't swung so wildly back the other way. It's not just the media lies and deceit that are troubling, but it's Barry's relative-unknown status, until very recently, that is also concerning. Also his inexperience, seemingly endless parade of radical associations (His gargantuan arrogance and ego - the same beast which spawned his new version of the presidential seal - has led him to the attitude that the American people are stupid and are just going to forget Ayers, Dohrn, Wright, Pfleger, Farrakhan, Rezko, ACORN, Khalidi and all the others(it's impossible to keep track of them all) that got him to where he is today; that he just, on a dime is going to turn centrist out of nowhere, with no evidence whatsoever to support that...why do you think liberals are so happy he won? Is that just a coincidence? Or do they know the truth, that he is just another left winger like them), his socialist policies that have never worked anywhere in the world before (but he's smarter than you; he can decide what to do with your money better than you can), and his smug arrogance...it's that this young punk sees more value in people like Ayers than in people like John McCain, who is as close to an American hero as we have right now. And it is always sad when the hero loses.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
NES games I have been playing
Most good NES games center around one memorable character and their journey. Nintendo wouldn't have achieved the success it has if it weren't for identifiable characters such as Mario and Link. It seems game developers knew that audience identification with a character - no matter how tenuous - could make or break a game. Is it any wonder that Ultra's Silent Service (1989) sucks so much? Just a fleeting glimpse of a guy in a beard is not enough. Sure, the controls seem dated today, but on the positive side, they could be considered a pre"cursor" (no pun intended) to the controls we are so used to today with DVD's. But that does not a good game make. Same with Acclaim's Star Voyager (1987). No central character = boring, stultifying tedium. So with that in mind I'm just going to give you a short sampling of some games I have been playing recently. Note they all have the central character thing in common.
1. KID NIKI (1987, Data East)
Bright colors, catchy, memorable music, silly and nonsensical enemies and just a general sprightly, upbeat tone make this Data East entry a winner. Data East was on quite a creative tear at this time, also rolling out the memorable items Karnov, Ring King and Breakthru, as well as Kid Niki, among others, all in 1987-88. Also noteworthy is Robocop from 1989. But memorable baddies such as Death Breath, who, rather futuristically, actually says "ki-yah" when attacking, an enemy that looks like Cookie Monster in a plastic bag, Horned Witch, and Mad Monk keep you engaged in the lightweight fun. And isn't that what it's all about?
2. THE ADVENTURES OF DINO RIKI (1989, Hudson)
Don't get confused by the similarly named hero from the above. This has some of the Hudson trademarks we all know and love: the title involves the word "adventure (s)" as in "Island", it takes a cute central character and drops them in a bucolic environment, and, most obviously, it's really freakin' HARD! As far as I know, this is a vertical scrolling game, I say that because level 2 could be horizontal scrolling, but I haven't gotten that far! Much like Hudson's Starship Hector (1990), level 1 is vertical, and level 2 is horizontal, but level 1 of Starship Hector is so incredibly, unbelievably hard, it is a miracle to get to level TWO, much less beat the game! So there could be more variation to Dino Riki than I am aware of right now.
Dino Riki is a caveman that can get progressively more impressive weaponry, all of the "caveman" variety (rocks, hammers, boomerangs, and fire). You jump on lilypads that disappear. It's fun and addictive, but very hard. But so are most NES games.
3. Whomp 'Em (Jaleco, 1991)
Yet another thing that is great about NES is that it is before political correctness. Characters in Contra (1988), Commando (1986), and Jackal (1988) and others smoke cigarettes and cigars, and ethnic stereotypes and broken english run rampant. This could NEVER happen today. Right along in this tradition is Whomp 'Em, the tale of a young Indian brave that fights the baddies with his magical pole. It's truly a beautiful thing. Of course it's not demeaning or insulting in any way. The Indian is the fearless hero. But still, fun and entertaining games like this would be censored and there would be lawsuits if it was released today. Like the great other Jaleco game, Shatterhand (also 1991), you can pick the levels and and do them in any order you choose, after completing level 1. Great graphics, imaginative levels, an original hero, great music, a taste of a bygone era and even a small dash of the forbidden, add to the fun of this great and worthy game.
4. Jackie Chan's Action Kung Fu (1990, Hudson)
Perhaps I have saved the best for last today? Hudson strikes gold once again, proving you cannot go wrong with big, bright characters and backgrounds combined with excellent music. This game takes the "central character you care about" idea I've been talking about to it's logical conclusion - make the central character an actual person. Take a person that truly exists in this world, and who you most likely have rooted for in the movies, and make him the main character in the game. I can only imagine releasing a Jackie Chan game at this point in time in America was something of a gamble, as he was not as well known then. But the game most likely featured him because he was, and continues to be, one of the most, if not THE most, famous person in the world. But that aside, this game definitely lives up to the bigness of Jackie's stature - Hudson pulled out all the stops on this one. I'm sure Jackie himself would approve of the color, the gameplay, the CHINESE-NESS of the game, and, perhaps most memorably, the MUSIC, which is among the best I have heard in all NES's history. A must-have game, Jackie Chan's Action Kung Fu may have paved the way from the gritty earlier Chan (Police Story, Crime Story) to the goofy, fun Chan (Mostly everything well-known in the U.S.), but it is a testament that that transition comes in the form of a little-known NES title. Great and recommended stuff.
1. KID NIKI (1987, Data East)
Bright colors, catchy, memorable music, silly and nonsensical enemies and just a general sprightly, upbeat tone make this Data East entry a winner. Data East was on quite a creative tear at this time, also rolling out the memorable items Karnov, Ring King and Breakthru, as well as Kid Niki, among others, all in 1987-88. Also noteworthy is Robocop from 1989. But memorable baddies such as Death Breath, who, rather futuristically, actually says "ki-yah" when attacking, an enemy that looks like Cookie Monster in a plastic bag, Horned Witch, and Mad Monk keep you engaged in the lightweight fun. And isn't that what it's all about?
2. THE ADVENTURES OF DINO RIKI (1989, Hudson)
Don't get confused by the similarly named hero from the above. This has some of the Hudson trademarks we all know and love: the title involves the word "adventure (s)" as in "Island", it takes a cute central character and drops them in a bucolic environment, and, most obviously, it's really freakin' HARD! As far as I know, this is a vertical scrolling game, I say that because level 2 could be horizontal scrolling, but I haven't gotten that far! Much like Hudson's Starship Hector (1990), level 1 is vertical, and level 2 is horizontal, but level 1 of Starship Hector is so incredibly, unbelievably hard, it is a miracle to get to level TWO, much less beat the game! So there could be more variation to Dino Riki than I am aware of right now.
Dino Riki is a caveman that can get progressively more impressive weaponry, all of the "caveman" variety (rocks, hammers, boomerangs, and fire). You jump on lilypads that disappear. It's fun and addictive, but very hard. But so are most NES games.
3. Whomp 'Em (Jaleco, 1991)
Yet another thing that is great about NES is that it is before political correctness. Characters in Contra (1988), Commando (1986), and Jackal (1988) and others smoke cigarettes and cigars, and ethnic stereotypes and broken english run rampant. This could NEVER happen today. Right along in this tradition is Whomp 'Em, the tale of a young Indian brave that fights the baddies with his magical pole. It's truly a beautiful thing. Of course it's not demeaning or insulting in any way. The Indian is the fearless hero. But still, fun and entertaining games like this would be censored and there would be lawsuits if it was released today. Like the great other Jaleco game, Shatterhand (also 1991), you can pick the levels and and do them in any order you choose, after completing level 1. Great graphics, imaginative levels, an original hero, great music, a taste of a bygone era and even a small dash of the forbidden, add to the fun of this great and worthy game.
4. Jackie Chan's Action Kung Fu (1990, Hudson)
Perhaps I have saved the best for last today? Hudson strikes gold once again, proving you cannot go wrong with big, bright characters and backgrounds combined with excellent music. This game takes the "central character you care about" idea I've been talking about to it's logical conclusion - make the central character an actual person. Take a person that truly exists in this world, and who you most likely have rooted for in the movies, and make him the main character in the game. I can only imagine releasing a Jackie Chan game at this point in time in America was something of a gamble, as he was not as well known then. But the game most likely featured him because he was, and continues to be, one of the most, if not THE most, famous person in the world. But that aside, this game definitely lives up to the bigness of Jackie's stature - Hudson pulled out all the stops on this one. I'm sure Jackie himself would approve of the color, the gameplay, the CHINESE-NESS of the game, and, perhaps most memorably, the MUSIC, which is among the best I have heard in all NES's history. A must-have game, Jackie Chan's Action Kung Fu may have paved the way from the gritty earlier Chan (Police Story, Crime Story) to the goofy, fun Chan (Mostly everything well-known in the U.S.), but it is a testament that that transition comes in the form of a little-known NES title. Great and recommended stuff.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
My records WILL be in heaven, stop arguing with me!
There was a metal band in the 80's and early 90's called VIKING. They released two albums on the Metal Blade label. However, before their second and final album, entitled "Man of Straw" was completed, at least one member of the band went Christian and decided to change the lyrics to some of the songs because he (or they, I'm not really sure) felt that they did not fit with the Christian image he was now pursuing.
I once read an article with the main guy behind this decision. It was a while ago as you can tell from my lack of remembering the details, but that's just the point: something he said really stuck with me, and not in a good way.
I believe he works in a church now, and that is all well and good, but he said something to the interviewer to the effect of: "In heaven, your record collection won't be there. Heaven is much deeper than your record collection". First off, anyone reading this article is a fan of heavy metal music...EIGHTIES heavy metal music, so they're obviously not going to heaven. Secondly, this really offended my delicate sensibilities. My first question after reading that statement was, "What's the point of heaven if my record collection isn't there?"
The way I see it, if my record collection is not there, it's not heaven. Period, end of sentence. Why be good and follow all of God's laws here on earth if I won't even be reunited with the one thing that made living worthwhile in the first place?
I would also like to add that in my vision of Heaven, not only will my entire record collection be there, but also ALL the rare, hard to find CD's LP's, Cassettes, Cassingles, CD5's and anything else that I wasn't able to track down during my earthly existence or was too expensive or too out of reach, will be there as well. That gives me an incentive to follow those commandments, however many of them there are.
I know, this God guy was trying to make a point about how material possessions have no place in the Kingdom of the Lord. I'm not blind to that. But I'm just being realistic. Why would God take away happiness once I get to heaven? That's not fair, it doesn't make any sense, and, frankly, it's not very heavenly. Because if I'm supposed to go all eternity floating around in the sky without ANYthing involving Dee Snider, why bother?
I suppose I can gather from what the man said, that if your record collection is not waiting for you in heaven, the only way to be reunited with it in the afterlife is to go to hell. Now is that very Christian? Or should I say SISTER Christian? Hm.
I once read an article with the main guy behind this decision. It was a while ago as you can tell from my lack of remembering the details, but that's just the point: something he said really stuck with me, and not in a good way.
I believe he works in a church now, and that is all well and good, but he said something to the interviewer to the effect of: "In heaven, your record collection won't be there. Heaven is much deeper than your record collection". First off, anyone reading this article is a fan of heavy metal music...EIGHTIES heavy metal music, so they're obviously not going to heaven. Secondly, this really offended my delicate sensibilities. My first question after reading that statement was, "What's the point of heaven if my record collection isn't there?"
The way I see it, if my record collection is not there, it's not heaven. Period, end of sentence. Why be good and follow all of God's laws here on earth if I won't even be reunited with the one thing that made living worthwhile in the first place?
I would also like to add that in my vision of Heaven, not only will my entire record collection be there, but also ALL the rare, hard to find CD's LP's, Cassettes, Cassingles, CD5's and anything else that I wasn't able to track down during my earthly existence or was too expensive or too out of reach, will be there as well. That gives me an incentive to follow those commandments, however many of them there are.
I know, this God guy was trying to make a point about how material possessions have no place in the Kingdom of the Lord. I'm not blind to that. But I'm just being realistic. Why would God take away happiness once I get to heaven? That's not fair, it doesn't make any sense, and, frankly, it's not very heavenly. Because if I'm supposed to go all eternity floating around in the sky without ANYthing involving Dee Snider, why bother?
I suppose I can gather from what the man said, that if your record collection is not waiting for you in heaven, the only way to be reunited with it in the afterlife is to go to hell. Now is that very Christian? Or should I say SISTER Christian? Hm.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Food, part 1 (AKA: I Like Ice Cream)
PIZZA:
I don't consider myself a snob in any way, shape or form, and snobbishness in others is one of the qualities I hate most when I come across it. However, I reserve the right to be a snob about ONE thing: Pizza. Growing up in this area, I really had no choice. New Haven is known for two things only: Yale and Pizza. Because of the Wooster street area, and the large influx of Italians into the country in the olden days, the food known as "pizza" became prevalent. In Hamden alone, new pizza places continue to open. Clearly the market is not flooded and the demand for this wonder food is higher than ever. It was in this pizza-soaked environment that I have grown up and I know no other way of life. I have had every type of pizza and have spent, if you were to total it all up, probably months of my life eating pizza.
So with this in mind I will tell you some personal preferences. I believe pizza should have a thin crust. I think Chicago-style "deep dish" so-called "Pizza" is a corruption. Pizza is not made by putting a bunch of mushrooms in a ceramic bowl, covering it with dough, then sauce, then serving it. That is NOT pizza. Just call it something else. Chicago-style deep dish "pizza" should simply be renamed. It's a different food from what the rest of the world knows and recognizes as pizza.
Personally, I prefer pizza should have some kind of toppings. I'm not all that fond of just plain cheese pizza. I think it's boring. When I get sausage or pepperoni, I like to add onion. I think a sausage and onion or pepperoni and onion pizza gives the overall experience a contrast. The onion gives it a sweetness that works well with the meat and cheese. This simple addition gives it all another dimension and enhances the pizza-eating experience. If I think of more to say about pizza, I will add it later.
ICE CREAM:
In the interest of being edgy and having an in-your-face, extreme, awesomely outrageous, mountain-dew drinking attitude, I will say something so controversial, you might want to turn off your computer right now. I like ice cream. Yes, I went there. In these troubled times, I believe it takes a man of principle to say what he really believes. But in all seriousness, I think that ice cream is one of the greatest gifts of life and we should all be very happy and grateful it was invented in our lifetime.
Have you ever met anyone that has said they don't like ice cream? I feel like I have and it was a very troubling and confusing experience. You just want to shake them and scream "what is WRONG with you?" Disliking ice cream should be labeled a type of mental disorder and should be an internationally recognized defect of the human mind.
Now, there are many things you can put ON ice cream. In my opinion, most ice cream is fine on its own with no frills. But whipped cream is the most obvious choice for a topping and does enhance the whole experience. What onions are to pizza, whipped cream is to ice cream. Depending on where you live, you may prefer what are alternately known as shots, sprinkles or jimmies. Most people in Connecticut say "sprinkles", but it varies state to state. Just like hoagies, grinders or subs, or even the storied difference between soda and "pop", it is a regional thing. If you live in a place where soda is known as "pop" please just stop now. I would be remiss if I left out hot fudge. Words can't describe the beauty of hot fudge. You take FUDGE, which everybody knows and loves, and liquefy it. You think that would be good enough. But to heat it up is the stroke of genius and to add it to ice cream and whipped cream is almost too much of a good thing.
I have given you an example of a great meal: pizza and ice cream. Stay tuned for future entries about Mexican food, Indian food, soda, various meats and cheeses, and maybe a few surprises!
I don't consider myself a snob in any way, shape or form, and snobbishness in others is one of the qualities I hate most when I come across it. However, I reserve the right to be a snob about ONE thing: Pizza. Growing up in this area, I really had no choice. New Haven is known for two things only: Yale and Pizza. Because of the Wooster street area, and the large influx of Italians into the country in the olden days, the food known as "pizza" became prevalent. In Hamden alone, new pizza places continue to open. Clearly the market is not flooded and the demand for this wonder food is higher than ever. It was in this pizza-soaked environment that I have grown up and I know no other way of life. I have had every type of pizza and have spent, if you were to total it all up, probably months of my life eating pizza.
So with this in mind I will tell you some personal preferences. I believe pizza should have a thin crust. I think Chicago-style "deep dish" so-called "Pizza" is a corruption. Pizza is not made by putting a bunch of mushrooms in a ceramic bowl, covering it with dough, then sauce, then serving it. That is NOT pizza. Just call it something else. Chicago-style deep dish "pizza" should simply be renamed. It's a different food from what the rest of the world knows and recognizes as pizza.
Personally, I prefer pizza should have some kind of toppings. I'm not all that fond of just plain cheese pizza. I think it's boring. When I get sausage or pepperoni, I like to add onion. I think a sausage and onion or pepperoni and onion pizza gives the overall experience a contrast. The onion gives it a sweetness that works well with the meat and cheese. This simple addition gives it all another dimension and enhances the pizza-eating experience. If I think of more to say about pizza, I will add it later.
ICE CREAM:
In the interest of being edgy and having an in-your-face, extreme, awesomely outrageous, mountain-dew drinking attitude, I will say something so controversial, you might want to turn off your computer right now. I like ice cream. Yes, I went there. In these troubled times, I believe it takes a man of principle to say what he really believes. But in all seriousness, I think that ice cream is one of the greatest gifts of life and we should all be very happy and grateful it was invented in our lifetime.
Have you ever met anyone that has said they don't like ice cream? I feel like I have and it was a very troubling and confusing experience. You just want to shake them and scream "what is WRONG with you?" Disliking ice cream should be labeled a type of mental disorder and should be an internationally recognized defect of the human mind.
Now, there are many things you can put ON ice cream. In my opinion, most ice cream is fine on its own with no frills. But whipped cream is the most obvious choice for a topping and does enhance the whole experience. What onions are to pizza, whipped cream is to ice cream. Depending on where you live, you may prefer what are alternately known as shots, sprinkles or jimmies. Most people in Connecticut say "sprinkles", but it varies state to state. Just like hoagies, grinders or subs, or even the storied difference between soda and "pop", it is a regional thing. If you live in a place where soda is known as "pop" please just stop now. I would be remiss if I left out hot fudge. Words can't describe the beauty of hot fudge. You take FUDGE, which everybody knows and loves, and liquefy it. You think that would be good enough. But to heat it up is the stroke of genius and to add it to ice cream and whipped cream is almost too much of a good thing.
I have given you an example of a great meal: pizza and ice cream. Stay tuned for future entries about Mexican food, Indian food, soda, various meats and cheeses, and maybe a few surprises!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Snap Bracelets
I originally planned to call this blog entry "A Snap Bracelet Gallery", but I couldn't collect enough material online to make that happen the way I envisioned. I thought there would be a wealth of information on the snap bracelet (alternatively labeled the "slap bracelet" -- it must be a regional thing, like the way certain foods have different names in different places -- see the above blog "Food Part 1 (AKA I Like Ice Cream) for further details on this).
So despite the dearth of information on the snap (or slap, I prefer snap) bracelets, I will soldier on. They were a trend in the early 90's of a piece of thin plastic that you would "snap" on your wrist and it would curl into a bracelet. That's it. This trend caught on like wildfire, and why not? It's utter brilliance lies in its simplicity. Whoever invented these things is laughing all the way to the bank. I guess all it takes is one tiny little bolt of inspiration to come up with a trend that all the kids want. It doesn't matter if people call it "stupid" or "frivolous", it just has to have an addictive quality that easily influenced children want to be a part of. Woe be to you if you do not have a snap bracelet or think it is a dumb idea. You will be ostracized, at least until the trend inevitably dies, then you will be thought a hero for resisting the trend and it will look like you had a lot of foresight. Just kidding.
You know the world is going to hell when snap bracelets start becoming banned, and hated by teachers and parents because kids are cutting their wrists with them. That was the absolute end. Not just of this trend, but of everything in society. With political correctness on the rise at the time, and maybe a few kids scratching their wrists with them, these two things combined to create a furor and an outright BAN on snap bracelets. To my mind, that symbolizes the absolute end, the total weakness of the culture. When you can't even snap a bracelet on your wrist for God's sake, what else is there? What else to we have to cling to? Even the most inane and harmless trend for kids was banned. Unbelievable. It's all over, I tell ya. All over.
Perhaps there is a chance we could someday see the return of the snap bracelet. But kids today fancy themselves more sophisticated. They have their myspace and their facebook and their blackberry and their blackface and their bookface and whatever else in the world, and, sadly...VERY sadly, a cheap piece of plastic you snap on your wrist no longer has a chance.
So despite the dearth of information on the snap (or slap, I prefer snap) bracelets, I will soldier on. They were a trend in the early 90's of a piece of thin plastic that you would "snap" on your wrist and it would curl into a bracelet. That's it. This trend caught on like wildfire, and why not? It's utter brilliance lies in its simplicity. Whoever invented these things is laughing all the way to the bank. I guess all it takes is one tiny little bolt of inspiration to come up with a trend that all the kids want. It doesn't matter if people call it "stupid" or "frivolous", it just has to have an addictive quality that easily influenced children want to be a part of. Woe be to you if you do not have a snap bracelet or think it is a dumb idea. You will be ostracized, at least until the trend inevitably dies, then you will be thought a hero for resisting the trend and it will look like you had a lot of foresight. Just kidding.
You know the world is going to hell when snap bracelets start becoming banned, and hated by teachers and parents because kids are cutting their wrists with them. That was the absolute end. Not just of this trend, but of everything in society. With political correctness on the rise at the time, and maybe a few kids scratching their wrists with them, these two things combined to create a furor and an outright BAN on snap bracelets. To my mind, that symbolizes the absolute end, the total weakness of the culture. When you can't even snap a bracelet on your wrist for God's sake, what else is there? What else to we have to cling to? Even the most inane and harmless trend for kids was banned. Unbelievable. It's all over, I tell ya. All over.
Perhaps there is a chance we could someday see the return of the snap bracelet. But kids today fancy themselves more sophisticated. They have their myspace and their facebook and their blackberry and their blackface and their bookface and whatever else in the world, and, sadly...VERY sadly, a cheap piece of plastic you snap on your wrist no longer has a chance.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Climbing Mountains and Rocks: A Very Selfish Impulse
I'm all for human achievement. Personally, I'm a huge fan of it. But I believe there is a pivot point where some misguided people confuse "human achievement" with "arrogant showoff". And that pivot point is the inexplicable desire some people apparently have to climb rocks and mountains.
First, there are rock climbers. These are the people that believe dressing up in spandex and tying themselves to a harness is the same thing as achieving something. If they are so obsessed with "risk" why do they have a harness at all? Why not put their money where their mouth is an climb rocks without a harness? Rather than do volunteer work or help the elderly, some mountain-dew drinking jackasses believe they are honestly accomplishing something worthwhile as they do something vertically instead of horizontally. They look at a rock that just happens to be there, that has been there since time immemorial, and they think of their OWN recognition. They want accolades for putting forth the time and the effort to scale a rock. I believe this is a nonsensical, selfish impulse and perhaps it is because they didn't receive enough attention from their parents when they were children. So the only way to make up for lost time is to get an attention grabber that is BIG - as big as a giant rock. Because actually talking to their parents or developing meaningful relationships with people is actually hard, and inanimate rocks don't have feelings and emotions. So, there is LESS risk, not more. It is a way of hiding, yet they want recognition from the world for their "achievements". I say they can't have it both ways.
So, inevitably, those "rock-climbing stations" sprung up - those places indoors where people climb faux-rocks and are harnessed from here to next tuesday. I say "inevitably" because they found something they already find safe, even safer. It proves they are obsessed with safety, not risk. They still won't leave their comfort zone, even if their comfort zone seems a little strange to some of us. Yet they want to be seen as daredevils and wild, crazy risk-takers. I believe that's what you call "hypocrisy".
As for mountain climbers, everything said above applies, but this time there are many, many cases of people self-centeredly trying to climb a snowy mountain, and getting trapped and dying. Is knowing a behavior is risky and doing it anyway a reason for a pat on the back? If that is the case, why don't I celebrate the behavior of drug users? Is getting your name in a newspaper reason enough to attempt something so "daring"? What's so great about your name anyway, that you feel the world needs to know it? And simply because you just HAD to climb a mountain? I guess it's not so much the desire to climb mountains and rocks that I find puzzling, it's that prideful, arrogant, conceited, self-centered, smug, boastful rock/mountain climbers honestly believe this is somehow an achievement. The only "achievement" they want is to have people know who they are and congratulate them for all their hard work. But they do nothing that benefits society. Neither do I, but I never sought the desperate attention of my fellow man for a phony achievement.
First, there are rock climbers. These are the people that believe dressing up in spandex and tying themselves to a harness is the same thing as achieving something. If they are so obsessed with "risk" why do they have a harness at all? Why not put their money where their mouth is an climb rocks without a harness? Rather than do volunteer work or help the elderly, some mountain-dew drinking jackasses believe they are honestly accomplishing something worthwhile as they do something vertically instead of horizontally. They look at a rock that just happens to be there, that has been there since time immemorial, and they think of their OWN recognition. They want accolades for putting forth the time and the effort to scale a rock. I believe this is a nonsensical, selfish impulse and perhaps it is because they didn't receive enough attention from their parents when they were children. So the only way to make up for lost time is to get an attention grabber that is BIG - as big as a giant rock. Because actually talking to their parents or developing meaningful relationships with people is actually hard, and inanimate rocks don't have feelings and emotions. So, there is LESS risk, not more. It is a way of hiding, yet they want recognition from the world for their "achievements". I say they can't have it both ways.
So, inevitably, those "rock-climbing stations" sprung up - those places indoors where people climb faux-rocks and are harnessed from here to next tuesday. I say "inevitably" because they found something they already find safe, even safer. It proves they are obsessed with safety, not risk. They still won't leave their comfort zone, even if their comfort zone seems a little strange to some of us. Yet they want to be seen as daredevils and wild, crazy risk-takers. I believe that's what you call "hypocrisy".
As for mountain climbers, everything said above applies, but this time there are many, many cases of people self-centeredly trying to climb a snowy mountain, and getting trapped and dying. Is knowing a behavior is risky and doing it anyway a reason for a pat on the back? If that is the case, why don't I celebrate the behavior of drug users? Is getting your name in a newspaper reason enough to attempt something so "daring"? What's so great about your name anyway, that you feel the world needs to know it? And simply because you just HAD to climb a mountain? I guess it's not so much the desire to climb mountains and rocks that I find puzzling, it's that prideful, arrogant, conceited, self-centered, smug, boastful rock/mountain climbers honestly believe this is somehow an achievement. The only "achievement" they want is to have people know who they are and congratulate them for all their hard work. But they do nothing that benefits society. Neither do I, but I never sought the desperate attention of my fellow man for a phony achievement.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
I Love Garbage Pail Kids
Another great piece of creativity and brilliance in the golden 80's came in the form of Garbage Pail Kids. For those who don't know, they were trading cards manufactured by Topps that were a reaction to the then-current trend of Cabbage Patch Kids. If there was going to be an annoyingly saccharine moneymaking phenomenon such as Cabbage Patch Kids, GPK were going to come in and rain on their parade. Parents weren't trampling themselves in stores to get those moon-faced Cabbage Patch Kids before long.
I was very into GPK as a kid. Something about the artwork was fascinating. There was, and is, a strange dichotomy between something that obviously took a lot of work to plan and execute, and putting that level of effort into something so juvenile and disgusting. Who created this? Where did they come from? Why did they care so much about grossing out kids and offending parents?
Now it is easy, in our internet age, to find the answers to these gnawing questions, and to more richly appreciate the genius of a man like John Pound. However, this is more a personal reminiscence. For example, I remember they were very popular, and only this one particular store, which was really like a candy, gum and cigarette store, not even a convenience store, ever had them in stock. It was about 15-20 minutes away from my house. We would drive there and it would be extremely exciting. Just the smell of a new, freshly sealed pack - the only way I can describe it is sweet and thinly plasticky - chiefly due to the rock-hard rectangle of gum enclosed within - would be enough to send your imagination reeling. How would I be grossed-out today? What irreverent sight would I see? How many puns can they use involving peoples' names? It was all a mystery. They often had cartoons and puzzles on the backs of the cards to further enhance the experience.
Could it be that GPK appealed to a certain side of all of us...a neglected side, where we felt like an outcast or unwanted? Could we relate on some level to these kids no one wanted, and no one wanted to pay attention to, these "Garbage Pail Kids", and we felt a kinship with them, and an empathy? Or we just like to see kids throwing up garbage? Nevertheless, the series had to keep outdoing itself, and they got grosser and grosser as they went along, in my opinion. For example, did we really need to see "rat sucker Randall" licking a dead rat on a stick like an ice cream cone? Inevitably, a movie was made to further enhance the name of GPK. It didn't work. The movie is a disappointment, but, like so many 80's movies, it has an awesome theme song. The end of the trend had sadly arrived, and a planned 16th series was never issued.
GPK were so popular, there were knockoffs such as "trash can tots" and "garage pale kids". Also, they were popular all over the world. For example, in Germany they were known as "Die Total Kaputten Kids", In Australia as "the Garbage Gang", in Brazil as "Gang do Lixo", in Italy as "Sgorbions", and on and on. In the 2000's, there was a new version of GPK, just like the new versions of He-Man and Transformers, but by now it isn't the same for me. Maybe a kid or two will see the new ones and be interested in the original series. For me, it was the closest thing I had experienced to the "Pokemon" phenomenon, because I wanted to "catch them all". I still look at the ones I still have. But never fear, because as long as there are collectors, websites devoted to them, and a faithful global following, and as long as the cards still exist in one form or another...remember..."YOU can be a Garbage Pail Kid!"
I was very into GPK as a kid. Something about the artwork was fascinating. There was, and is, a strange dichotomy between something that obviously took a lot of work to plan and execute, and putting that level of effort into something so juvenile and disgusting. Who created this? Where did they come from? Why did they care so much about grossing out kids and offending parents?
Now it is easy, in our internet age, to find the answers to these gnawing questions, and to more richly appreciate the genius of a man like John Pound. However, this is more a personal reminiscence. For example, I remember they were very popular, and only this one particular store, which was really like a candy, gum and cigarette store, not even a convenience store, ever had them in stock. It was about 15-20 minutes away from my house. We would drive there and it would be extremely exciting. Just the smell of a new, freshly sealed pack - the only way I can describe it is sweet and thinly plasticky - chiefly due to the rock-hard rectangle of gum enclosed within - would be enough to send your imagination reeling. How would I be grossed-out today? What irreverent sight would I see? How many puns can they use involving peoples' names? It was all a mystery. They often had cartoons and puzzles on the backs of the cards to further enhance the experience.
Could it be that GPK appealed to a certain side of all of us...a neglected side, where we felt like an outcast or unwanted? Could we relate on some level to these kids no one wanted, and no one wanted to pay attention to, these "Garbage Pail Kids", and we felt a kinship with them, and an empathy? Or we just like to see kids throwing up garbage? Nevertheless, the series had to keep outdoing itself, and they got grosser and grosser as they went along, in my opinion. For example, did we really need to see "rat sucker Randall" licking a dead rat on a stick like an ice cream cone? Inevitably, a movie was made to further enhance the name of GPK. It didn't work. The movie is a disappointment, but, like so many 80's movies, it has an awesome theme song. The end of the trend had sadly arrived, and a planned 16th series was never issued.
GPK were so popular, there were knockoffs such as "trash can tots" and "garage pale kids". Also, they were popular all over the world. For example, in Germany they were known as "Die Total Kaputten Kids", In Australia as "the Garbage Gang", in Brazil as "Gang do Lixo", in Italy as "Sgorbions", and on and on. In the 2000's, there was a new version of GPK, just like the new versions of He-Man and Transformers, but by now it isn't the same for me. Maybe a kid or two will see the new ones and be interested in the original series. For me, it was the closest thing I had experienced to the "Pokemon" phenomenon, because I wanted to "catch them all". I still look at the ones I still have. But never fear, because as long as there are collectors, websites devoted to them, and a faithful global following, and as long as the cards still exist in one form or another...remember..."YOU can be a Garbage Pail Kid!"
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
People With Girlfriends (Or Wives)
Comedian Amanda Melson has said that the fact that OJ Simpson has a girlfriend "Is an affront to single people everywhere". As a single person myself (Shock of the century!) I would like to add to what Melson has said. I'm not complaining - just making some observations for entertainment or maybe informational purposes.
It has been said that "Even Hitler had a girlfriend". It's even the title of a movie. I think there's a song by that name as well. This has to top the list.
After seeing the Dr. Phil-like relationship success OJ had with Nicole Brown Simpson, the woman pictured above, Christine Prody, came running into OJ's murderin' arms. I guess it has never dawned on her that she looks a lot like Nicole. I guess OJ is killing her with kindness.
John Mark Karr, the inexplicable weirdo that claimed to be involved with the JonBenet Ramsey case, but actually was exonerated of any and all charges, used his powerful masculinity to lasso this quite attractive lass. Did I mention she has a daughter around the same age as JonBenet? She does.
John Hinckley, the man who tried to assassinate Ronald Reagan and ended up shooting him once, in a foolproof endeavor to impress Jodie Foster, is now in a mental asylum. But that hasn't stopped him from "getting his groove back". According to some reports, one is not enough, and he has 3-5 girlfriends. One of which supposedly killed her 10 year old daughter. How did he ever impress them without assassination attempts on great men?
This silver-tongued devil who clearly woos the ladies with his smooth words had plenty of "girlfriends" in jail - and many who aspired to be but had to be content writing him letters professing their love and devotion.
I'm sure all of Verne Troyer's model and actress girlfriends would be with him if he was a janitor in an elementary school and not in movies.
John Wayne Bobbitt Vs. Joey Buttafuoco: these incorrigible ladies men not only hooked in Lorena and Amy Fisher respectively, but are both remarried. This split-screen comes from their proposed bout of "Celebrity Boxing". And like the above Verne Troyer, both have sex tapes - Joey's amateur, John Wayne's as part of his post-castration porn career. A serial woman abuser with a reattached penis and a career in "adult films"? Where do I sign up?" ...."Your last name is 'Buttafuoco'? Where do I sign up?"
Lorena Bobbitt is also remarried. I'm sure her new beau isn't worried at all.
SPECIAL POLITICAL PORTION! -----------------------------
Speaking of pornography, we'll start the political section of this article with this picture that looks like a still from a 70's porn film. That was the start of an America-destroying relationship that is still thriving today. Note there is a second woman on Bill's arm. I believe that's what you call "foreshadowing".
That's Silda Wall Spitzer with the diabolically attractive Elliot Spitzer. I guess she is standing by him.
Senator Vitter and his wife Wendy. I suppose she is standing by him as well.
Larry and Suzanne Craig. I guess she is stan...well, you get the idea.
Dina Matos McGreevey. Apparently he came out as a "gay American."
I hope all these people enjoy their relationships. It is hard to find the right person, and they are all very lucky.
It has been said that "Even Hitler had a girlfriend". It's even the title of a movie. I think there's a song by that name as well. This has to top the list.
After seeing the Dr. Phil-like relationship success OJ had with Nicole Brown Simpson, the woman pictured above, Christine Prody, came running into OJ's murderin' arms. I guess it has never dawned on her that she looks a lot like Nicole. I guess OJ is killing her with kindness.
John Mark Karr, the inexplicable weirdo that claimed to be involved with the JonBenet Ramsey case, but actually was exonerated of any and all charges, used his powerful masculinity to lasso this quite attractive lass. Did I mention she has a daughter around the same age as JonBenet? She does.
John Hinckley, the man who tried to assassinate Ronald Reagan and ended up shooting him once, in a foolproof endeavor to impress Jodie Foster, is now in a mental asylum. But that hasn't stopped him from "getting his groove back". According to some reports, one is not enough, and he has 3-5 girlfriends. One of which supposedly killed her 10 year old daughter. How did he ever impress them without assassination attempts on great men?
This silver-tongued devil who clearly woos the ladies with his smooth words had plenty of "girlfriends" in jail - and many who aspired to be but had to be content writing him letters professing their love and devotion.
I'm sure all of Verne Troyer's model and actress girlfriends would be with him if he was a janitor in an elementary school and not in movies.
John Wayne Bobbitt Vs. Joey Buttafuoco: these incorrigible ladies men not only hooked in Lorena and Amy Fisher respectively, but are both remarried. This split-screen comes from their proposed bout of "Celebrity Boxing". And like the above Verne Troyer, both have sex tapes - Joey's amateur, John Wayne's as part of his post-castration porn career. A serial woman abuser with a reattached penis and a career in "adult films"? Where do I sign up?" ...."Your last name is 'Buttafuoco'? Where do I sign up?"
Lorena Bobbitt is also remarried. I'm sure her new beau isn't worried at all.
SPECIAL POLITICAL PORTION! -----------------------------
Speaking of pornography, we'll start the political section of this article with this picture that looks like a still from a 70's porn film. That was the start of an America-destroying relationship that is still thriving today. Note there is a second woman on Bill's arm. I believe that's what you call "foreshadowing".
That's Silda Wall Spitzer with the diabolically attractive Elliot Spitzer. I guess she is standing by him.
Senator Vitter and his wife Wendy. I suppose she is standing by him as well.
Larry and Suzanne Craig. I guess she is stan...well, you get the idea.
Dina Matos McGreevey. Apparently he came out as a "gay American."
I hope all these people enjoy their relationships. It is hard to find the right person, and they are all very lucky.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Hamden: A Town In Which For People To Live
Incorporated in 1786, I am just one of the 58,180 people that live in the town of Hamden, CT. I have grown up here, and today we are going on a "virtual tour" of the town. According to Wikipedia (where all factual information for this piece was taken, so make of that what you will), "In 2008, Fortune Magazine and CNN Money picked Hamden as #33 on their 'Best Place to Live and Launch' list, citing Hamden's great blend of urban and suburban lifestyles. The article also pointed out Hamden's exceptional education system as well as its 'New England Charm'". All pictures included herein were taken by yours truly, except one.
View of the Hamden sign and fountain in the center of town.
Also according to Wikipedia, the first truss bridge in the U.S. was erected in Hamden in 1823. It has since been replaced. But far more important and interesting is that this is the birthplace of the great Ernest Borgnine! He is a graduate of Hamden High like myself.
Here is the sign for the "park" named in his honor. Observe the second view:
It is simply a patch of grass in front of a depressing brown wall in a busy section of town. I believe Mr. Borgnine deserves better. Actually, this picture makes it look a lot nicer than it actually is. Elsewhere in town, there was a driveway to a golf course named "Ernest Borgnine Way", but that has since been taken down to make way for a sign that says "please clean up after your dog". Shame shame shame, Hamden! Borgnine deserves better. That's my motto. However, I suppose we should be grateful for what we have.
Center of town with the town hall in the background. The town hall is now vacant and all municipal offices have been moved to a more modern complex. Other notable Hamdeners (Hamdenites?) include Paul Fusco, the creator of ALF (see the February blog post), Thornton Wilder, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson (for a short time anyway), and, of course, the great Eli Whitney.
This is the toughest, most badass piece of graffiti in town.
"But Officer, I was just following the sign! The sign, I tell you! The sign!!!!!"
Hard to argue.
Guys, I know you want to be first in the phone book, but this is going a bit overboard with the "A's", isn't it? It's not even realistic anymore. I think they need to have a little more faith in the phone-book-using public, that they won't just pick the first one they see, if such people exist anymore.
Arguably one of the better shoppees in town. Of all the shoppees, and there are many shoppees, this is said to be the best shoppee. I've never actually been inside this shoppee, but a lot of shoppeers that have shoppeed here have told me that as far as shoppees go, this is a great shoppee.
They put two "N's" in the word "Kryptonnite" to avoid that lawsuit with Superman.
HONORABLE MENTION: GHOST PARKING LOT R.I.P.
Despite being in over 100 art books, and featured on that show hosted by Leonard Nimoy, this art installation in the Hamden plaza was torn down in 2003. Rather than just be a place where people shopped, the Hamden plaza had other weird art things as well, such as a "crying rock" - a stone that appeared to weep (???)and a bunch of cones attached to some metal rods on a very high pole. Sure, everyone that ever looked at the cars described it as an "eyesore", but is that any reason to get rid of a classic, distinguishing feature of a town? Just to take away its uniqueness and make it more bland and mediocre, indistinguishable from other towns in the USA and elsewhere? I grew up with those tar-covered hulks, and every time I would go to Child World or anyplace else, they would be there, presumably hoping someone would appreciate them. That day never came. Sorry tarry (if that is a word) cars, you will live on in all of our hearts.
Well, I hope you enjoyed this little trip through Hamden. I guess we can thank its "Exceptional education system" for giving me the ability to write and photograph this article. Hamden really is one of the better towns in Connecticut. Granted, I haven't been to them all, but Hamden is definitely in the top ten. Maybe the top fifteen. I am thankful not to live in Moodus, Moosup or Mianus, CT. Or even "Voluntown" (what a cop-out name for a town...As if a bunch of volunteers got together and founded a town: "I know! Voluntown!" I guess "Volunteertown" was too long. That's just lame, Voluntown. Just lame).
On that note, it's time to wrap it up. I need to go watch Scott Burrell demonstrate the Cotton Gin on the History Channel. This presentation brought to you by the Ill Bros. and Pablo.
View of the Hamden sign and fountain in the center of town.
Also according to Wikipedia, the first truss bridge in the U.S. was erected in Hamden in 1823. It has since been replaced. But far more important and interesting is that this is the birthplace of the great Ernest Borgnine! He is a graduate of Hamden High like myself.
Here is the sign for the "park" named in his honor. Observe the second view:
It is simply a patch of grass in front of a depressing brown wall in a busy section of town. I believe Mr. Borgnine deserves better. Actually, this picture makes it look a lot nicer than it actually is. Elsewhere in town, there was a driveway to a golf course named "Ernest Borgnine Way", but that has since been taken down to make way for a sign that says "please clean up after your dog". Shame shame shame, Hamden! Borgnine deserves better. That's my motto. However, I suppose we should be grateful for what we have.
Center of town with the town hall in the background. The town hall is now vacant and all municipal offices have been moved to a more modern complex. Other notable Hamdeners (Hamdenites?) include Paul Fusco, the creator of ALF (see the February blog post), Thornton Wilder, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson (for a short time anyway), and, of course, the great Eli Whitney.
This is the toughest, most badass piece of graffiti in town.
"But Officer, I was just following the sign! The sign, I tell you! The sign!!!!!"
Hard to argue.
Guys, I know you want to be first in the phone book, but this is going a bit overboard with the "A's", isn't it? It's not even realistic anymore. I think they need to have a little more faith in the phone-book-using public, that they won't just pick the first one they see, if such people exist anymore.
Arguably one of the better shoppees in town. Of all the shoppees, and there are many shoppees, this is said to be the best shoppee. I've never actually been inside this shoppee, but a lot of shoppeers that have shoppeed here have told me that as far as shoppees go, this is a great shoppee.
They put two "N's" in the word "Kryptonnite" to avoid that lawsuit with Superman.
HONORABLE MENTION: GHOST PARKING LOT R.I.P.
Despite being in over 100 art books, and featured on that show hosted by Leonard Nimoy, this art installation in the Hamden plaza was torn down in 2003. Rather than just be a place where people shopped, the Hamden plaza had other weird art things as well, such as a "crying rock" - a stone that appeared to weep (???)and a bunch of cones attached to some metal rods on a very high pole. Sure, everyone that ever looked at the cars described it as an "eyesore", but is that any reason to get rid of a classic, distinguishing feature of a town? Just to take away its uniqueness and make it more bland and mediocre, indistinguishable from other towns in the USA and elsewhere? I grew up with those tar-covered hulks, and every time I would go to Child World or anyplace else, they would be there, presumably hoping someone would appreciate them. That day never came. Sorry tarry (if that is a word) cars, you will live on in all of our hearts.
Well, I hope you enjoyed this little trip through Hamden. I guess we can thank its "Exceptional education system" for giving me the ability to write and photograph this article. Hamden really is one of the better towns in Connecticut. Granted, I haven't been to them all, but Hamden is definitely in the top ten. Maybe the top fifteen. I am thankful not to live in Moodus, Moosup or Mianus, CT. Or even "Voluntown" (what a cop-out name for a town...As if a bunch of volunteers got together and founded a town: "I know! Voluntown!" I guess "Volunteertown" was too long. That's just lame, Voluntown. Just lame).
On that note, it's time to wrap it up. I need to go watch Scott Burrell demonstrate the Cotton Gin on the History Channel. This presentation brought to you by the Ill Bros. and Pablo.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
The Suburban White Rapper Fantasy
If you grew up in the suburbs during the 80's and/or the early 90's, and are male, you pretty much HAVE to like heavy metal and/or rap music. That is pretty unavoidable. MTV catered to these two fancies with two shows: The Headbangers Ball for metal, and Yo! MTV Raps for rap. Around the time both of these shows went off the air, rap-metal hybrid bands such as Limp Bizkit and Korn appeared. Coincidence? I think not. The two MTV shows proved their usefulness, then became obsolete once these new bands ruled the roost. Never mind that the bands themselves were embarassingly awful and truly cringe-inducingly bad. I think you see my point.
I personally have never even attempted, not even once, to try and rap. I feel I would just embarass myself. Just to be safe, I try not to ever say any rhyming words. But who hasn't dreamed of being on that stage, with unchallenged skills, the crowd following your every word? It is my belief that boys (men?) growing up in the allotted timeframe have fantasized about being a famous, successful rapper. Every single one of them has. Perhaps some more than others. Some have actually succeeded in making their dreams come true, but I am speaking more of a widespread fantasy than a career goal. They've daydreamed during school or work, or at home while watching TV of being like those rappers they have seen. There is something attractive about wanting to put yourself in the shoes of an alpha-male like LL Cool J or have your cake and eat it too and hang out with Aerosmith like Run DMC.
It all seemed very glamorous and also tantalizing because it also seemed very PLAUSIBLE. You didn't have to do anything HARD like learn an instrument or try and have a good singing voice. At least that's how it appeared. Rapping is a very specific skill and talent, but the ones on TV made it seem so easy. But so do great musicians.
All the major (perhaps all?) the white rap groups that "made it" were all good: The Beastie Boys, House of Pain, and 3rd Bass. No one would dispute the relevance and importance of these groups. I think that's because they all had to work harder to be respected with their peers. So they had to be better. 3rd Bass deserves special mention because they were smart, funny, way ahead of their time, had great criticisms of the industry, and MC Serch is as good as anyone in the game. Anyone reading this should go out and get their two albums, if you don't already have them.
Keep in mind I'm mainly speaking of what might be now called "old school", when rap was much, much, much better and also very different. With the advent of so-called "gangsta rap", a lot changed and a lot of the innocence went away and so did the emphasis on good lyricism and positivity. However, these aspects began to come back and can still be found nowadays.
Advertisers took notice, and hence the "free credit report dot com" commercials we all love so dearly came along. If advertisers have learned one thing, a surefire way to get people to buy your product is to have a white guy rapping.
In case my tone is not coming across, I'm kidding! I'm being sarcastic. Sometimes I do that.
With Yo! MTV raps now a thing of the past, and kids today with a myriad of other ways to hear and discover music, it is likely the Suburban White Rapper Fantasy will live on in the minds of adolescent boys everywhere around the world. As long as there is a suburb, a white kid, and a way for that kid to discover rap music, the daydreams will thrive. While maybe 4% will actually ACT on his fantasy and try to make it in the industry, that is really irrelevant to the phenomenon I am speaking about. Keep on dreaming, America!
I personally have never even attempted, not even once, to try and rap. I feel I would just embarass myself. Just to be safe, I try not to ever say any rhyming words. But who hasn't dreamed of being on that stage, with unchallenged skills, the crowd following your every word? It is my belief that boys (men?) growing up in the allotted timeframe have fantasized about being a famous, successful rapper. Every single one of them has. Perhaps some more than others. Some have actually succeeded in making their dreams come true, but I am speaking more of a widespread fantasy than a career goal. They've daydreamed during school or work, or at home while watching TV of being like those rappers they have seen. There is something attractive about wanting to put yourself in the shoes of an alpha-male like LL Cool J or have your cake and eat it too and hang out with Aerosmith like Run DMC.
It all seemed very glamorous and also tantalizing because it also seemed very PLAUSIBLE. You didn't have to do anything HARD like learn an instrument or try and have a good singing voice. At least that's how it appeared. Rapping is a very specific skill and talent, but the ones on TV made it seem so easy. But so do great musicians.
All the major (perhaps all?) the white rap groups that "made it" were all good: The Beastie Boys, House of Pain, and 3rd Bass. No one would dispute the relevance and importance of these groups. I think that's because they all had to work harder to be respected with their peers. So they had to be better. 3rd Bass deserves special mention because they were smart, funny, way ahead of their time, had great criticisms of the industry, and MC Serch is as good as anyone in the game. Anyone reading this should go out and get their two albums, if you don't already have them.
Keep in mind I'm mainly speaking of what might be now called "old school", when rap was much, much, much better and also very different. With the advent of so-called "gangsta rap", a lot changed and a lot of the innocence went away and so did the emphasis on good lyricism and positivity. However, these aspects began to come back and can still be found nowadays.
Advertisers took notice, and hence the "free credit report dot com" commercials we all love so dearly came along. If advertisers have learned one thing, a surefire way to get people to buy your product is to have a white guy rapping.
In case my tone is not coming across, I'm kidding! I'm being sarcastic. Sometimes I do that.
With Yo! MTV raps now a thing of the past, and kids today with a myriad of other ways to hear and discover music, it is likely the Suburban White Rapper Fantasy will live on in the minds of adolescent boys everywhere around the world. As long as there is a suburb, a white kid, and a way for that kid to discover rap music, the daydreams will thrive. While maybe 4% will actually ACT on his fantasy and try to make it in the industry, that is really irrelevant to the phenomenon I am speaking about. Keep on dreaming, America!
Friday, May 23, 2008
V.egetarians' E.nvy G.oes A.nother N.otch
I have absolutely nothing against vegetarians. If that's what you want to do with your life, I say good luck and Godspeed. The following is NOT meant to be a rant against vegetarians. If anything, what I'm about to say helps them assert their identity even more.
Food: Real
Well, that being said, let me get one quick complaint out of the way first. Whenever you eat with vegetarians, you always have to go their way. You have to get the vegetarian appetizer, the vegetarian pizza, whatever. You always have to bend to THEIR ideas about food and right and wrong, even in the most casual situation. Plus, there's nothing worse than a lecture about why YOU should be a vegetarian. Could there be another situation that more makes you want to kill yourself? As if, after hearing their self-righeous drivel, you will say "You're right! I've been wrong all along! Bacon really tastes BAD!" I hope, for their sake, no well-meaning vegetarian proselytizes to a group of animals. It will be the worst animal slaughter in history.
What I want to say concerns the "imitation real food" trend of late. Fake bacon, fake turkey, fake burgers, etc. This proves that vegetarians want to be like the mainstream of society, i.e., omnivores. On some level, besides jealousy, they know what they are doing puts them in sort of a kooky box. They don't want to be seen as "those nutty vegetarians", despite the fact that the choice is solely theirs. That's why their "bacon" assumes the form of real bacon, their "burgers" look like real burgers, and every other fake food they have churned out of their fraud factories resembles - physically resembles - food made from animals.
I can't help but wonder why they choose to do it this way. They could obviously make the food look like anything. If, hypothetically, hamburger patties were blue and star-shaped, fake vegetarian burgers would be blue and star-shaped. If bacon, in the real world, was yellow and square, fake bacon would be yellow and square. The meat versions are the originals. They came first. The manufactured vegetarian versions are the imitations. They came second.
Food: ????
The fact that the makers of the fake versions of the food chose to put their twisted mockeries of bacon and hamburgers into the same size and shape as the originals shows that they want to have their cake and eat it too. They want to be vegetarians and hold on to their moral superiority, and also eat "bacon", "turkey", "hamburgers", etc.
The consumers of this fraudulent material also seem to have no problem with the resemblance to the foods they are copying. They want to say "hey look! I'm eating a hamburger!" It's not a hamburger. It's a LIE!!!!
My question is, if they have the power to make their imitations look any way they want - which they clearly do - why not make the food look DIFFERENT from the originals? Why not show a little creativity? You want to be a vegetarian, you want to have your own little niche, you want to be original, different, your own sector of life just for you, you want to be in control when vegetarians and non-vegetarians eat out together in a mixed setting...well then prove it. Stop aping the food styles of those who you deem to be morally below you.
Aren't I right? Why go down in the moral sewer with us meateaters in any way, shape or form?
But, at any cost, you must have your "hamburgers" and "hot dogs" made out of God-knows-what.
I say, vegetarians, assert your independence. Don't be like meateaters at all. Stop imitating what we eat. This may sound a bit silly, but...make up your own food! Stop using ours, that WE invented, as your template. All the while scolding us with your other hand.
I believe God made us meateaters because meat tastes good, it doesn't make us sick to eat, it has proteins and other benefits, and we have incisors and other sharp teeth to handle it. The DAY meat stops tasting good, I will stop eating it. Or, if it converts to fake meat.
Food: Real
Well, that being said, let me get one quick complaint out of the way first. Whenever you eat with vegetarians, you always have to go their way. You have to get the vegetarian appetizer, the vegetarian pizza, whatever. You always have to bend to THEIR ideas about food and right and wrong, even in the most casual situation. Plus, there's nothing worse than a lecture about why YOU should be a vegetarian. Could there be another situation that more makes you want to kill yourself? As if, after hearing their self-righeous drivel, you will say "You're right! I've been wrong all along! Bacon really tastes BAD!" I hope, for their sake, no well-meaning vegetarian proselytizes to a group of animals. It will be the worst animal slaughter in history.
What I want to say concerns the "imitation real food" trend of late. Fake bacon, fake turkey, fake burgers, etc. This proves that vegetarians want to be like the mainstream of society, i.e., omnivores. On some level, besides jealousy, they know what they are doing puts them in sort of a kooky box. They don't want to be seen as "those nutty vegetarians", despite the fact that the choice is solely theirs. That's why their "bacon" assumes the form of real bacon, their "burgers" look like real burgers, and every other fake food they have churned out of their fraud factories resembles - physically resembles - food made from animals.
I can't help but wonder why they choose to do it this way. They could obviously make the food look like anything. If, hypothetically, hamburger patties were blue and star-shaped, fake vegetarian burgers would be blue and star-shaped. If bacon, in the real world, was yellow and square, fake bacon would be yellow and square. The meat versions are the originals. They came first. The manufactured vegetarian versions are the imitations. They came second.
Food: ????
The fact that the makers of the fake versions of the food chose to put their twisted mockeries of bacon and hamburgers into the same size and shape as the originals shows that they want to have their cake and eat it too. They want to be vegetarians and hold on to their moral superiority, and also eat "bacon", "turkey", "hamburgers", etc.
The consumers of this fraudulent material also seem to have no problem with the resemblance to the foods they are copying. They want to say "hey look! I'm eating a hamburger!" It's not a hamburger. It's a LIE!!!!
My question is, if they have the power to make their imitations look any way they want - which they clearly do - why not make the food look DIFFERENT from the originals? Why not show a little creativity? You want to be a vegetarian, you want to have your own little niche, you want to be original, different, your own sector of life just for you, you want to be in control when vegetarians and non-vegetarians eat out together in a mixed setting...well then prove it. Stop aping the food styles of those who you deem to be morally below you.
Aren't I right? Why go down in the moral sewer with us meateaters in any way, shape or form?
But, at any cost, you must have your "hamburgers" and "hot dogs" made out of God-knows-what.
I say, vegetarians, assert your independence. Don't be like meateaters at all. Stop imitating what we eat. This may sound a bit silly, but...make up your own food! Stop using ours, that WE invented, as your template. All the while scolding us with your other hand.
I believe God made us meateaters because meat tastes good, it doesn't make us sick to eat, it has proteins and other benefits, and we have incisors and other sharp teeth to handle it. The DAY meat stops tasting good, I will stop eating it. Or, if it converts to fake meat.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Media Arrogance and Childishness is Actually Dangerous!
The arrogance of the democrats and liberals is actually dangerous to us all. They are INVESTED in defeat in Iraq. Because even though they voted to send our troops there, they are now saying the war is lost. After they sent them there, they are bleeding away all their resources. THAT should be a crime. Not all of course, I'm specifically talking about scumbags like John Murtha and Harry Reid, and their mouthpieces like the repellant Keith Olbermann (more on him later). They had all the same information as President Bush about the reasons for the war, and now they call HIM a "liar". And they've been pounding this drum of "defeat, defeat" for so long, they will look like fools if (or should I say WHEN) we succeed. Thusly, their own conceited, vain, elite arrogance is more important to them than the lives of our brave soldiers and the success of the mission. Just disgusting. If it was in a novel or movie, you'd never believe it, thinking it too impossible that they could be so self-centered and blind. Their selfish attitudes do nothing except give aid and comfort to the enemy (I'm pretty sure that IS a crime - yet they somehow believe BUSH is the bad guy, some nuts even believing that he should be impeached!), thinking that if they just hold out for ONE MORE DAY, they may be able to carry on, possibly even succeed (I'm just telling you what they must be thinking). I mean, it saves them time, money and effort when our side is the one that is not all together, and even within the USA, certain factions are undermining the troops.
The media is the same way. They are invested in defeat as well, for no other reason than, should defeat occur (God forbid), that will simply reinforce what they've been pushing for years (interesting how it hasn't happened yet.) -- Once-great papers like the New York Times are now nothing more than a bunch of second-graders burning to say "I told you so". If it were socially acceptable, The headline would read "Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah". Instead of being fair and balanced, the Times is just a liberal mouthpiece, whose stories in every section only reinforce the liberal attitudes of its owners and operators. That's not a NEWS paper. That's just a one-sided rag.Yes, you've made it perfectly clear that you want Obama to win. So much so, you've minimized his flaws and scandals, and when there are none about John McCain, you've MADE THEM UP! That is boldfaced one-sidedness. They're not even TRYING to hide it anymore. I'm pretty sure that's not the job of an institution that claims to be fair. I guess the WHOLE truth isn't "fit to print". No wonder it has lost all that money and its stock price has plummeted. I guess preaching to the converted only gives you half an audience.
On TV, if you classify MSNBC as "TV", you've got Keith Olbermann, a one-note, humorless dispenser of snarky Bush-bashing (big surprise) comments. He always has this annoying little smirk on his face, like he is so much better and wiser than his material. That is clearly not the case. For some strange reason, I'm guessing just to be different, the camera always seems a bit too close to his face. That may be different, but it's certainly not better. I mean, I don't know whose decision it was that we should all be CLOSER to Keith Olbermann's face, but the cameraman might want to think about dialing it back a few notches. He is quite the hunk, but still...
And what gives HIM the right to deem who is the "worst person in the world"? Who is HE exactly, anyway? Talk about the pot calling the kettle black! (he apparently believes this is such a witty concept, it is also the name of his book.) Funny how the people he deems to be the "worst in the world" are always either Republicans or somehow involved with Fox News. (Disgustingly, even the promos for the show are laughably pathetic: "We're going to make fun of Bill O'Reilly, Coming up next!"...O'Reilly has NEVER ONCE mentioned Olbermann on his show. EVER! Yet Olbermann's entire career is predicated on O'Reilly-bashing. I believe that's what you call "sour grapes".)
My explanation here is purely psychological. He, and the rest of MSNBC, are angry, and, dare I say, bitter, that Fox News is successful and they aren't. So this childish vitriol comes out. We mustn't be jealous when our fellow networks become successful. This is a hallmark of a desperate, lesser mind. So...I see a theme developing. Those in the media are AGAIN overgrown children, forever stuck in the schoolyard: "Billy got an A on his test and I got a D. I hate Billy!" seems to be the working credo of MSNBC. (And what a success it is! Most people don't know the network exists.)
I would also submit that all this hatred of President Bush and his constant bashing is media-driven. Those "elites" in the media hate Bush, so, in their insecure, short-sighted arrogance, they want everyone else in the world to hate him too. Think about it. If you have control of all the media outlets, you can present the notion that Bush is bad. If that's what you choose to put out there, it is hard to escape, because there is a lot of media and a lot of demand for it. If it is what you are constantly fed, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, and somewhere along the line it becomes "truth".
Think of it this way: take away all the media in the world and their constant drumbeat of Bush-bashing. Would there be such a negative public outlook of him? I think not. I'm not saying he's perfect -- far from it -- but I doubt we'd be surrounded by this insane, baseless HATRED of the man. I suppose after the Times gave away those CIA secrets, they weren't satisfied, so they must fan the flames of what they themselves started.
I wonder if the weasels at the Times and MSNBC and all the other corrupt media outlets have ever THOUGHT OF, much less personally thanked, even one of the brave soldiers who are sacrificing everything for our freedom. Even the media's freedom to bash Bush and the war! Somehow, I doubt it.
The media is the same way. They are invested in defeat as well, for no other reason than, should defeat occur (God forbid), that will simply reinforce what they've been pushing for years (interesting how it hasn't happened yet.) -- Once-great papers like the New York Times are now nothing more than a bunch of second-graders burning to say "I told you so". If it were socially acceptable, The headline would read "Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah". Instead of being fair and balanced, the Times is just a liberal mouthpiece, whose stories in every section only reinforce the liberal attitudes of its owners and operators. That's not a NEWS paper. That's just a one-sided rag.Yes, you've made it perfectly clear that you want Obama to win. So much so, you've minimized his flaws and scandals, and when there are none about John McCain, you've MADE THEM UP! That is boldfaced one-sidedness. They're not even TRYING to hide it anymore. I'm pretty sure that's not the job of an institution that claims to be fair. I guess the WHOLE truth isn't "fit to print". No wonder it has lost all that money and its stock price has plummeted. I guess preaching to the converted only gives you half an audience.
On TV, if you classify MSNBC as "TV", you've got Keith Olbermann, a one-note, humorless dispenser of snarky Bush-bashing (big surprise) comments. He always has this annoying little smirk on his face, like he is so much better and wiser than his material. That is clearly not the case. For some strange reason, I'm guessing just to be different, the camera always seems a bit too close to his face. That may be different, but it's certainly not better. I mean, I don't know whose decision it was that we should all be CLOSER to Keith Olbermann's face, but the cameraman might want to think about dialing it back a few notches. He is quite the hunk, but still...
And what gives HIM the right to deem who is the "worst person in the world"? Who is HE exactly, anyway? Talk about the pot calling the kettle black! (he apparently believes this is such a witty concept, it is also the name of his book.) Funny how the people he deems to be the "worst in the world" are always either Republicans or somehow involved with Fox News. (Disgustingly, even the promos for the show are laughably pathetic: "We're going to make fun of Bill O'Reilly, Coming up next!"...O'Reilly has NEVER ONCE mentioned Olbermann on his show. EVER! Yet Olbermann's entire career is predicated on O'Reilly-bashing. I believe that's what you call "sour grapes".)
My explanation here is purely psychological. He, and the rest of MSNBC, are angry, and, dare I say, bitter, that Fox News is successful and they aren't. So this childish vitriol comes out. We mustn't be jealous when our fellow networks become successful. This is a hallmark of a desperate, lesser mind. So...I see a theme developing. Those in the media are AGAIN overgrown children, forever stuck in the schoolyard: "Billy got an A on his test and I got a D. I hate Billy!" seems to be the working credo of MSNBC. (And what a success it is! Most people don't know the network exists.)
I would also submit that all this hatred of President Bush and his constant bashing is media-driven. Those "elites" in the media hate Bush, so, in their insecure, short-sighted arrogance, they want everyone else in the world to hate him too. Think about it. If you have control of all the media outlets, you can present the notion that Bush is bad. If that's what you choose to put out there, it is hard to escape, because there is a lot of media and a lot of demand for it. If it is what you are constantly fed, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, and somewhere along the line it becomes "truth".
Think of it this way: take away all the media in the world and their constant drumbeat of Bush-bashing. Would there be such a negative public outlook of him? I think not. I'm not saying he's perfect -- far from it -- but I doubt we'd be surrounded by this insane, baseless HATRED of the man. I suppose after the Times gave away those CIA secrets, they weren't satisfied, so they must fan the flames of what they themselves started.
I wonder if the weasels at the Times and MSNBC and all the other corrupt media outlets have ever THOUGHT OF, much less personally thanked, even one of the brave soldiers who are sacrificing everything for our freedom. Even the media's freedom to bash Bush and the war! Somehow, I doubt it.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
We Live in a Looksist Society
While people in society are concerning themselves with racism and sexism and other "ism"s, I submit to you there is another "ism" that deserves attention and outrage as well. That is what I have dubbed "Looksism".
People that are not good looking, such as myself, have noticed a peculiar trend in society. We are uniquely positioned, as outsiders looking in, to notice this trend. Women and Men alike get all sorts of little breaks in life, and are given slack in every area imaginable, simply because, as Dennis Miller puts it, they "hit the genetic 'pick six'".
Good-looking people are treated as royalty in our society. Because they are celebrated in every venue imaginable, from billboards to magazines to TV to movies and beyond, every place that humans go, they see good-looking people and cannot avoid it, so we are FORCED to have a reverence for them, we are subtly brainwashed into it from an early age so we don't notice any bias at all. All this because people in suits realized they can make money selling their products because a good-looking person hawking the product will result in more sales. That's how much power they have. We will buy something with our hard-earned money just because a good-looking person says we should. Really they are just a front for a company saying we should, but no one digs deeper than the surface.
And the surface is important, isn't it? As the saying goes, "beauty is just skin deep". Skin is thin, so that's not very deep at all. If you took a beautiful person and ripped their skin off, they would look really gross and their so-called "beauty", which rests solely on that gossamer surface, would disappear rather quickly. So their skin IS important, very much so.
People with no talent, skills or abilities can make millions of dollars and have great, glamorous lives simply because of the way they popped out of the womb. It is wrong of society to reward this on the level that it does.
People just treat good-looking people better, on every level you can imagine. Clerks at stores are just nicer to them, potential mates bend over backwards for them, parents dote on them, in no area are they EVER exposed to the way normal, or ugly people are treated. Because, from birth, they know no other way, they develop this bubble of false self-importance. That's the best way I can describe it. I'm not talking about arrogance and conceit, although many have these qualities, but not all. I'm talking about a certain unconscious misunderstanding of life and interpersonal relationships that is warped from day one because they are one of society's chosen darlings.
Imagine a lifetime of getting to slide when the cops pull you over, at late fees at the video store, overly attentive service at stores, etc., (there are many other instances like this, these are just some that I can think of right now), plus a constant barrage of compliments and people going out of their way just for you. If that's ALL you knew your whole life, your outlook would be skewed, to say the least. You'd be in that bubble I spoke of earlier. I suppose it only ends if they live long enough to get old, then beauty fades and so do all the breaks. But they've had so many their whole lives, it doesn't really matter at that point.
I hope all this doesn't sound like whining, because that's not my intention. I would just like for someone of beauty to live as one of us "normals" for a year, and see what their formerly-charmed lives would be like without all the breaks that they get that they have come to take for granted. Ideally, we should be living in a meritocracy, not a "beautocracy". Because of they way they happen to have been born, the lucky ones, the beautiful people, can call the shots. They can live the way they want to live and even bend people to their will. All this without any actual worthwhile skills or talents. But no one ever said life was fair, and the way society bows down to, and revolves around, the people they deem beautiful at that moment, proves this beyond doubt.
People that are not good looking, such as myself, have noticed a peculiar trend in society. We are uniquely positioned, as outsiders looking in, to notice this trend. Women and Men alike get all sorts of little breaks in life, and are given slack in every area imaginable, simply because, as Dennis Miller puts it, they "hit the genetic 'pick six'".
Good-looking people are treated as royalty in our society. Because they are celebrated in every venue imaginable, from billboards to magazines to TV to movies and beyond, every place that humans go, they see good-looking people and cannot avoid it, so we are FORCED to have a reverence for them, we are subtly brainwashed into it from an early age so we don't notice any bias at all. All this because people in suits realized they can make money selling their products because a good-looking person hawking the product will result in more sales. That's how much power they have. We will buy something with our hard-earned money just because a good-looking person says we should. Really they are just a front for a company saying we should, but no one digs deeper than the surface.
And the surface is important, isn't it? As the saying goes, "beauty is just skin deep". Skin is thin, so that's not very deep at all. If you took a beautiful person and ripped their skin off, they would look really gross and their so-called "beauty", which rests solely on that gossamer surface, would disappear rather quickly. So their skin IS important, very much so.
People with no talent, skills or abilities can make millions of dollars and have great, glamorous lives simply because of the way they popped out of the womb. It is wrong of society to reward this on the level that it does.
People just treat good-looking people better, on every level you can imagine. Clerks at stores are just nicer to them, potential mates bend over backwards for them, parents dote on them, in no area are they EVER exposed to the way normal, or ugly people are treated. Because, from birth, they know no other way, they develop this bubble of false self-importance. That's the best way I can describe it. I'm not talking about arrogance and conceit, although many have these qualities, but not all. I'm talking about a certain unconscious misunderstanding of life and interpersonal relationships that is warped from day one because they are one of society's chosen darlings.
Imagine a lifetime of getting to slide when the cops pull you over, at late fees at the video store, overly attentive service at stores, etc., (there are many other instances like this, these are just some that I can think of right now), plus a constant barrage of compliments and people going out of their way just for you. If that's ALL you knew your whole life, your outlook would be skewed, to say the least. You'd be in that bubble I spoke of earlier. I suppose it only ends if they live long enough to get old, then beauty fades and so do all the breaks. But they've had so many their whole lives, it doesn't really matter at that point.
I hope all this doesn't sound like whining, because that's not my intention. I would just like for someone of beauty to live as one of us "normals" for a year, and see what their formerly-charmed lives would be like without all the breaks that they get that they have come to take for granted. Ideally, we should be living in a meritocracy, not a "beautocracy". Because of they way they happen to have been born, the lucky ones, the beautiful people, can call the shots. They can live the way they want to live and even bend people to their will. All this without any actual worthwhile skills or talents. But no one ever said life was fair, and the way society bows down to, and revolves around, the people they deem beautiful at that moment, proves this beyond doubt.
Monday, April 21, 2008
TV shows currently on the air that I like, Part 2
CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM
Larry David is a genius and one of my personal heroes. His comedic brilliance shines through every episode. His ability to take the minutia of life and spin it into plots is brilliant enough, but when events that happen at the beginning of the episode tie into and dovetail with things that happen at the end, and all the while the performances, without scripted dialogue, are chock full of great lines, you realize you are in the presence of true greatness. I've laughed so hard and so long at episodes of this show, that I've started sweating, like I was getting a workout, and I had to go take a shower afterwards. David's sensibility clearly hasn't changed since Seinfeld, but if anything it has improved, and the fact that the show is on HBO means he has even greater freedom. God Bless Curb Your Enthusiasm!
THE SOUP
The E! Network stays afloat with this silly, cynical and hilarious pop culture commentary show. Joel McHale is very funny and likable, and the format is easy to like and understand. It really is the only show of its kind that I know of that is truly unafraid to go hard on the celebrities, yet is still funny and has a brightness that never feels TOO mean-spirited. Chock full of biting sarcasm aimed at today's stupid, vapid celebrity culture, what's not to love?
DEXTER
Original, intriguing and creepy, Showtime, and now CBS' DEXTER is another must-see drama. It seems like only on the pay channels can truly worthwhile, challenging content flower into existence. The show is moody, even philosophical, and Dexter's ruminations on life give it that extra, intelligent dimension. Since Dexter has no emotions, he must fake his way through life. I can relate to that aspect of him. I especially appreciate Dexter's relationship to his sister. I wish I had a relationship with my sister that Dexter does with his. Sure, she may be a bit too good-looking to be on the police force (not that there aren't pretty cops, but come on, in real life she would be modeling, not busting bad guys.) But hey, it's TV and she is a great actress, so all is well. It also combines some of the best aspects of horror movies (there have been outright references to George Romero's MARTIN, as well as THE LAST HOUSE ON DEAD END STREET and the GUINEA PIG series, among others.), and one of my favorite sub-genres, the revenge thriller. Because Dexter is a killer, that, only after careful checking, kills the bad guys, these two things can come together. I guess CBS is trying to shake its image of a network that only the elderly can appreciate, but with this and CRIMINAL MINDS (which I'll discuss later), it's now the serial killer channel. That's quite a turn. I wonder what Andy Rooney thinks?
PENN AND TELLER'S B.S.
Speaking of Showtime, here's their other great show. I've been a fan of Penn and Teller since I was a kid in the 80's. But I prefer this angry, sarcastic and highly enjoyable show better than their magic. When Penn goes off on one of his angry rants about some ridiculous subject or other, the show is at its best. But then sometimes Penn will go into his "soft voice" when talking about something sad, and that really shows his range. I am a huge fan of societal criticism, and this show is one of the best at doing that. I don't agree with 100% of Penn's points, but you don't have to in order to enjoy this hilarious, and pointed, show.
CRIMINAL MINDS
We'll finish this installment with another CBS show. I've only seen the Mandy Patinkin shows, so I can only comment on those. He is quiet and intense, and, if nothing else, the strength of this show is its ensemble cast. Each has their own likable attributes. Hotch is the no-nonsense Joe Friday of the modern era. Reid has an undeniable quirky charm, and I especially liked the plot arc in season 2 where he develops something of a drug problem. JJ is the good-looking girl, Shemar Moore is the good-looking guy, and Garcia is the brains behind the operation (her quirkiness leads me to believe a romance could develop between her and Reid. Wouldn't we all like to see that?) The diverse ensemble cast, mixed with what can be extremely brutal and disturbing subject matter, and the way the team comes together to solve the problem, makes for compelling viewing.
STAY TUNED FOR PART THREE OF THIS ONGOING SERIES!
Larry David is a genius and one of my personal heroes. His comedic brilliance shines through every episode. His ability to take the minutia of life and spin it into plots is brilliant enough, but when events that happen at the beginning of the episode tie into and dovetail with things that happen at the end, and all the while the performances, without scripted dialogue, are chock full of great lines, you realize you are in the presence of true greatness. I've laughed so hard and so long at episodes of this show, that I've started sweating, like I was getting a workout, and I had to go take a shower afterwards. David's sensibility clearly hasn't changed since Seinfeld, but if anything it has improved, and the fact that the show is on HBO means he has even greater freedom. God Bless Curb Your Enthusiasm!
THE SOUP
The E! Network stays afloat with this silly, cynical and hilarious pop culture commentary show. Joel McHale is very funny and likable, and the format is easy to like and understand. It really is the only show of its kind that I know of that is truly unafraid to go hard on the celebrities, yet is still funny and has a brightness that never feels TOO mean-spirited. Chock full of biting sarcasm aimed at today's stupid, vapid celebrity culture, what's not to love?
DEXTER
Original, intriguing and creepy, Showtime, and now CBS' DEXTER is another must-see drama. It seems like only on the pay channels can truly worthwhile, challenging content flower into existence. The show is moody, even philosophical, and Dexter's ruminations on life give it that extra, intelligent dimension. Since Dexter has no emotions, he must fake his way through life. I can relate to that aspect of him. I especially appreciate Dexter's relationship to his sister. I wish I had a relationship with my sister that Dexter does with his. Sure, she may be a bit too good-looking to be on the police force (not that there aren't pretty cops, but come on, in real life she would be modeling, not busting bad guys.) But hey, it's TV and she is a great actress, so all is well. It also combines some of the best aspects of horror movies (there have been outright references to George Romero's MARTIN, as well as THE LAST HOUSE ON DEAD END STREET and the GUINEA PIG series, among others.), and one of my favorite sub-genres, the revenge thriller. Because Dexter is a killer, that, only after careful checking, kills the bad guys, these two things can come together. I guess CBS is trying to shake its image of a network that only the elderly can appreciate, but with this and CRIMINAL MINDS (which I'll discuss later), it's now the serial killer channel. That's quite a turn. I wonder what Andy Rooney thinks?
PENN AND TELLER'S B.S.
Speaking of Showtime, here's their other great show. I've been a fan of Penn and Teller since I was a kid in the 80's. But I prefer this angry, sarcastic and highly enjoyable show better than their magic. When Penn goes off on one of his angry rants about some ridiculous subject or other, the show is at its best. But then sometimes Penn will go into his "soft voice" when talking about something sad, and that really shows his range. I am a huge fan of societal criticism, and this show is one of the best at doing that. I don't agree with 100% of Penn's points, but you don't have to in order to enjoy this hilarious, and pointed, show.
CRIMINAL MINDS
We'll finish this installment with another CBS show. I've only seen the Mandy Patinkin shows, so I can only comment on those. He is quiet and intense, and, if nothing else, the strength of this show is its ensemble cast. Each has their own likable attributes. Hotch is the no-nonsense Joe Friday of the modern era. Reid has an undeniable quirky charm, and I especially liked the plot arc in season 2 where he develops something of a drug problem. JJ is the good-looking girl, Shemar Moore is the good-looking guy, and Garcia is the brains behind the operation (her quirkiness leads me to believe a romance could develop between her and Reid. Wouldn't we all like to see that?) The diverse ensemble cast, mixed with what can be extremely brutal and disturbing subject matter, and the way the team comes together to solve the problem, makes for compelling viewing.
STAY TUNED FOR PART THREE OF THIS ONGOING SERIES!
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