I Love Garbage Pail Kids

Another great piece of creativity and brilliance in the golden 80's came in the form of Garbage Pail Kids. For those who don't know, they were trading cards manufactured by Topps that were a reaction to the then-current trend of Cabbage Patch Kids. If there was going to be an annoyingly saccharine moneymaking phenomenon such as Cabbage Patch Kids, GPK were going to come in and rain on their parade. Parents weren't trampling themselves in stores to get those moon-faced Cabbage Patch Kids before long.



I was very into GPK as a kid. Something about the artwork was fascinating. There was, and is, a strange dichotomy between something that obviously took a lot of work to plan and execute, and putting that level of effort into something so juvenile and disgusting. Who created this? Where did they come from? Why did they care so much about grossing out kids and offending parents?



Now it is easy, in our internet age, to find the answers to these gnawing questions, and to more richly appreciate the genius of a man like John Pound. However, this is more a personal reminiscence. For example, I remember they were very popular, and only this one particular store, which was really like a candy, gum and cigarette store, not even a convenience store, ever had them in stock. It was about 15-20 minutes away from my house. We would drive there and it would be extremely exciting. Just the smell of a new, freshly sealed pack - the only way I can describe it is sweet and thinly plasticky - chiefly due to the rock-hard rectangle of gum enclosed within - would be enough to send your imagination reeling. How would I be grossed-out today? What irreverent sight would I see? How many puns can they use involving peoples' names? It was all a mystery. They often had cartoons and puzzles on the backs of the cards to further enhance the experience.



Could it be that GPK appealed to a certain side of all of us...a neglected side, where we felt like an outcast or unwanted? Could we relate on some level to these kids no one wanted, and no one wanted to pay attention to, these "Garbage Pail Kids", and we felt a kinship with them, and an empathy? Or we just like to see kids throwing up garbage? Nevertheless, the series had to keep outdoing itself, and they got grosser and grosser as they went along, in my opinion. For example, did we really need to see "rat sucker Randall" licking a dead rat on a stick like an ice cream cone? Inevitably, a movie was made to further enhance the name of GPK. It didn't work. The movie is a disappointment, but, like so many 80's movies, it has an awesome theme song. The end of the trend had sadly arrived, and a planned 16th series was never issued.



GPK were so popular, there were knockoffs such as "trash can tots" and "garage pale kids". Also, they were popular all over the world. For example, in Germany they were known as "Die Total Kaputten Kids", In Australia as "the Garbage Gang", in Brazil as "Gang do Lixo", in Italy as "Sgorbions", and on and on. In the 2000's, there was a new version of GPK, just like the new versions of He-Man and Transformers, but by now it isn't the same for me. Maybe a kid or two will see the new ones and be interested in the original series. For me, it was the closest thing I had experienced to the "Pokemon" phenomenon, because I wanted to "catch them all". I still look at the ones I still have. But never fear, because as long as there are collectors, websites devoted to them, and a faithful global following, and as long as the cards still exist in one form or another...remember..."YOU can be a Garbage Pail Kid!"