NES Review #2: Bad Street Brawler

They got the "bad" part right! "Bad Street Brawler", (Not to be confused with "Bradstreet Brawler", the game where female writer and poet Anne Bradstreet ((1612-1672))got her revenge) produced by Mattel in September 1989, is a limp-wristed rehash and very, very silly. Taking the mindless, repetitive beat-em-up style of Renegade, crossing it with River City Ransom without any of the wit, style or playability, and taking the retro-50's rock n' roll soundtrack from both games, "BSB" as I like to call it, is a ridiculous exercise in futility.
Seemingly thinking the kids of 1989 would truly get behind a hero in late middle age dressed in yellow lederhosen but without pants, this inexplicably effeminate and puzzling main hero is truly strange choice for an action protagonist. Every level you get 2 different moves - variations on punch and kick, which breaks up the redundancy somewhat - but you don't get to keep the moves you've earned or come to know. (Not that you'd want to keep the kick move you are given for level one. It is an effeminate slide that I dubbed "jazzercise".To see an underwear-clad man do this to a dog is quite a sight.) They simply change every level. You gain nothing, unlike the excellent Mighty Final Fight, a top-notch NES title I am a huge fan of.





The "bad streets" consist of pleasant parks at night, and you are "brawling" with dogs and apes. Later on, there is a baddie that resembles Michael Richards' Kramer from Seinfeld. It is possible all this is done in a spirit of fun, but that is unclear. A further example of the supposed potential humor of the game comes in the form of the pre-level screen, which always contain some kind of saying. My personal favorite is "Never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you" --that's the BEST one. Truer words were never spoken. Why this game needs maxims, epigrams, sayings, poems, sonnets or anything like that is yet another confusing layer to this game which obscures any potential humor value.



You may notice he is a "thug-thrashing defender of freedom." Indeed.



Now that I've trashed the game somewhat, I'd like to say that this game is so bad, to many players, it becomes somewhat fun. Not GOOD, mind you, but, perhaps if you are in the right mood, fun. Kind of like the infamous "Yo! Noid", but not as controller-smashingly annoying. Yes, the controls are erratic and unresponsive (that's bad in a beat-em-up, especially one with a bunch of strikes already against it.) But, mind you, it was part of the "Power Glove series". It is impossible to imagine playing this game with the Power Glove. It is hard enough with your bare hands. Or fingerless gloves. I had a Power Glove. It didn't work. That's all. However, the Power Glove did have something of a post-NES life. In the short-lived TV show of "The Flash", the bad guy in one episode wore the Power Glove as part of his outfit. It's weird to be watching TV and then yell out "hey! that guy is wearing the Power Glove! Who are they trying to fool?", but, even more uninterestingly, the poor, misunderstood Glove appeared, on the box art at least, of the Jenna Jameson/Nikki Tyler porn film, "Virtual Reality 69". (I tried to find a picture of this for you, but I couldn't.) I doubt they have ever played "Bad Street Brawler". How far you have fallen, Power Glove. We hardly knew ye. Oh, and Bad Street Brawler could be considered a masochistic guilty pleasure if you can find it. I apologize for being so hard on it.