NES Review #2: Bad Street Brawler

They got the "bad" part right! "Bad Street Brawler", (Not to be confused with "Bradstreet Brawler", the game where female writer and poet Anne Bradstreet ((1612-1672))got her revenge) produced by Mattel in September 1989, is a limp-wristed rehash and very, very silly. Taking the mindless, repetitive beat-em-up style of Renegade, crossing it with River City Ransom without any of the wit, style or playability, and taking the retro-50's rock n' roll soundtrack from both games, "BSB" as I like to call it, is a ridiculous exercise in futility.
Seemingly thinking the kids of 1989 would truly get behind a hero in late middle age dressed in yellow lederhosen but without pants, this inexplicably effeminate and puzzling main hero is truly strange choice for an action protagonist. Every level you get 2 different moves - variations on punch and kick, which breaks up the redundancy somewhat - but you don't get to keep the moves you've earned or come to know. (Not that you'd want to keep the kick move you are given for level one. It is an effeminate slide that I dubbed "jazzercise".To see an underwear-clad man do this to a dog is quite a sight.) They simply change every level. You gain nothing, unlike the excellent Mighty Final Fight, a top-notch NES title I am a huge fan of.





The "bad streets" consist of pleasant parks at night, and you are "brawling" with dogs and apes. Later on, there is a baddie that resembles Michael Richards' Kramer from Seinfeld. It is possible all this is done in a spirit of fun, but that is unclear. A further example of the supposed potential humor of the game comes in the form of the pre-level screen, which always contain some kind of saying. My personal favorite is "Never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you" --that's the BEST one. Truer words were never spoken. Why this game needs maxims, epigrams, sayings, poems, sonnets or anything like that is yet another confusing layer to this game which obscures any potential humor value.



You may notice he is a "thug-thrashing defender of freedom." Indeed.



Now that I've trashed the game somewhat, I'd like to say that this game is so bad, to many players, it becomes somewhat fun. Not GOOD, mind you, but, perhaps if you are in the right mood, fun. Kind of like the infamous "Yo! Noid", but not as controller-smashingly annoying. Yes, the controls are erratic and unresponsive (that's bad in a beat-em-up, especially one with a bunch of strikes already against it.) But, mind you, it was part of the "Power Glove series". It is impossible to imagine playing this game with the Power Glove. It is hard enough with your bare hands. Or fingerless gloves. I had a Power Glove. It didn't work. That's all. However, the Power Glove did have something of a post-NES life. In the short-lived TV show of "The Flash", the bad guy in one episode wore the Power Glove as part of his outfit. It's weird to be watching TV and then yell out "hey! that guy is wearing the Power Glove! Who are they trying to fool?", but, even more uninterestingly, the poor, misunderstood Glove appeared, on the box art at least, of the Jenna Jameson/Nikki Tyler porn film, "Virtual Reality 69". (I tried to find a picture of this for you, but I couldn't.) I doubt they have ever played "Bad Street Brawler". How far you have fallen, Power Glove. We hardly knew ye. Oh, and Bad Street Brawler could be considered a masochistic guilty pleasure if you can find it. I apologize for being so hard on it.

NES: gray box of wonderment and joy

Anyone who knows me knows I love NES. I prefer the term "NES" over "Nintendo" because "Nintendo" could refer to the company, or any of the newer systems, like Super Nintendo, N64 or even Wii. There is only one NES.
Sure, the video games of today have "better" graphics and lifelike cinemas, but are overly complex and lack the overall sense of pure fun you get with an NES game. These new controllers have several hundred buttons and are space age and wireless. All I need is a small,square controller and TWO buttons: A and B!
Plus, the concept of cinema sequences between levels was developed during the NES days. One only need look at Ninja Gaiden and its sequels to appreciate this idea in its infancy. That whole idea was cutting edge and there are many games today that are being remade (of course) such as Ninja Gaiden for PS3. I have no interest in this however, and it shows a complete lack of creativity, and even a certain dishonesty. What I mean is, much like the movie industry as it stands today, with its endless barrage of sequels and remakes, is incredibly lazy and takes for granted the ingenuity and brilliance of the past.
For example, what if the filmmakers of the past decided to just thoughtlessly remake what came before, rather that create new ideas? Then what would the lazy filmmakers of today have to remake? They are utterly dependent on the fact that the idea men of the past were original. Similarly, cover bands are dependent on the fact that the bands of the past were original. If THOSE bands of the past chose to be lazy and uncreative, there would be nothing for these modern day bands to cover. See what I mean? It's just irresponsible to take and take from the past - what if the people back then had done that?
OK, enough about that. I think you get my point. Nintendo came in at a low point for video games in the 80's. They marketed it more like a VCR for the whole family (hence the Japanese name, Famicom, or , Family Computer), and, compared to its ancestors, was a quantum leap forward: Bright colors, fun gameplay, 8 bits (all you really need!), and games with plots and recognizable characters. Some, like Mario and Donkey Kong became legends in their own right, whose worldwide popularity still continues to this day. (somehow, lesser characters and knockoffs like Kid Kool languish in obscurity.)









Of course, pure absurdity and even surrealism played a huge part in the appeal of the NES: It must have been a huge gamble for a fledgling (in the U.S.) company to bet the farm on a video game about two Italian plumbers that fight goombas and ride down flagpoles at the end of levels, and games like Stinger (see previous review), Gun Nac, Monster Party, and Little Nemo the Dream Master amply provide evidence for this. Almost every NES game had some kind of absurd element, from the strange enemy here to the endearing "Engrish" mistranslation there (see pretty much any game with text, but the most famous examples are Zelda 2 and Metal Gear).
At its peak, NES was so popular, many things became games that probably shouldn't. What would Robert Lous Stevenson have made of the game "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde"? and what about "Yo! Noid", a game featuring that li'l sprite that ruins pizzas? (any game that features the credit "Domino's Pizza Presents" on the title screen should be some cause for concern.) And many movie adaptations have been made as well: everything from Nightmare on Elm Street to Wayne's World to Hudson Hawk have received the 8 bit treatment - all this simply in attempt to ride the coattails of the NES' popularity.
The bottom line is, for kids of my generation, children of the 80's, especially boys, are inextricably linked to this machine. If you could condense my childhood into one single material object, the NES would certainly be it. It truly changed the world - and to be there at the outset of this revolution was quite a thing. Kids in my elementary school constantly talked about it: I remember a kid on my bus had just gotten it and had the poster that came with it advertising all the games with little screenshots, and many other kids crowded around to look at this poster and marvel at all the colorful secrets and potential hours of fun it promised.
One of the fondest moments of my young life, perhaps the most fond, is when my Mom pulled me out of school on a normal day - not a holiday or birthday, nothing - to go buy the NES. I still regard that as a special moment in time. And that's just it: NES simply represents nostalgia as well as fun games. Could there be a better invention?

NES review #1: STINGER

Stinger is a great, and extremely fun game released on the Konami label in September 1987. This was sandwiched inbetween the releases of Gradius in December 1986 and Contra in February 1988, signaling quite a creative tear for the label. Gradius and Contra of course became classics, even archetypes of their respective subgenres (those being space shooter and run n' gun, respectively). This of course to say nothing of further winners such as Life Force, Double Dribble, and the hilariously titled Rush N Attack (let's not forget this was the time of Reagan and the cold war), and misses, however noble the intention, like The Adventures of Bayou Billy.
Somehow, though, the greatness of Stinger fell through the cracks. Much like the lesser known artists during the renaissance, when even being a great artist was not enough in the boom time of Leonardo and Michaelangelo, and later on, when even being a great band in the late 60's was not quite enough, when the public was spoilt for choice with bands like the Beatles, Rolling Stones and the Who and countless others. Inevitably, material that deserved notice, and would have gotten it under any normal circumstances, had to be in the shadows.



Such is life, and seemingly also the fate of Stinger. I remember playing the game as a child in the late 80's, and being struck by the originality of the game, as well as the attractive bright colors and music - of course a must for any NES game.
In the game, you fly through various worlds and shoot at various household objects: hangers, popsicles, jelly rolls, records and the like. All the while, you shoot at bells that fall from clouds. If you shoot the bells enough times, you can get improved weaponry and power-ups, but you can't spend too much time doing this, or you will lose focus and the baddies will get you. Addiction and constant continues ensue.
The first level is horizontal, and the second vertical, and so on. This breaks up monotony and was a common feature of Konami games (i.e. Contra, Super C, etc.) The bells are in the sky, the baddies come at you fast and furious in various formations in the middle of the screen, and there are secrets and extra points at the bottom of the screen as well. This keeps the game interesting and exciting and constantly replayable. It is also 2-player simultaneous (a feature disappointingly absent from the first Double Dragon, obviously I'm still a bit bitter about that), so to play with someone else makes it easier and fun to find all the secrets and combat the onslaught of evil objects.
The bosses are great: Evil watermelon, Evil hot dog, Evil faucet (which attacks with evil bubbles - a perplexing constant in NES games - expect more on this later) - Evil VCR, only in a later level does a more traditional evil demon appear as a boss. The programmers' ability to turn mundane objects we see every day into aggressive enemies that kidnap your grandfather, is a stroke of genius that would not be equaled until September 1991 when ASCII released the awesome GUN NAC, the semi-sequel to the also excellent ZANAC, when evil carrots and bunnies assailed you.
Just a quick word about the music: it is always bright and upbeat and infectious, just like the game itself. I especially like the music during "Let's Go Bonus Game" - it will surely put a smile on your face. And isn't that what it's all about, people?



In conclusion, Stinger represents a golden time when NES games were pure fun - an enjoyable experience in the halcyon times before Joe Lieberman droned on about how Mortal Kombat corrupts absolutely. If you have an NES, please pick up Stinger on Amazon or Ebay if you haven't already. You will be happy you did.