Food, part 1 (AKA: I Like Ice Cream)

PIZZA:
I don't consider myself a snob in any way, shape or form, and snobbishness in others is one of the qualities I hate most when I come across it. However, I reserve the right to be a snob about ONE thing: Pizza. Growing up in this area, I really had no choice. New Haven is known for two things only: Yale and Pizza. Because of the Wooster street area, and the large influx of Italians into the country in the olden days, the food known as "pizza" became prevalent. In Hamden alone, new pizza places continue to open. Clearly the market is not flooded and the demand for this wonder food is higher than ever. It was in this pizza-soaked environment that I have grown up and I know no other way of life. I have had every type of pizza and have spent, if you were to total it all up, probably months of my life eating pizza.

So with this in mind I will tell you some personal preferences. I believe pizza should have a thin crust. I think Chicago-style "deep dish" so-called "Pizza" is a corruption. Pizza is not made by putting a bunch of mushrooms in a ceramic bowl, covering it with dough, then sauce, then serving it. That is NOT pizza. Just call it something else. Chicago-style deep dish "pizza" should simply be renamed. It's a different food from what the rest of the world knows and recognizes as pizza.

Personally, I prefer pizza should have some kind of toppings. I'm not all that fond of just plain cheese pizza. I think it's boring. When I get sausage or pepperoni, I like to add onion. I think a sausage and onion or pepperoni and onion pizza gives the overall experience a contrast. The onion gives it a sweetness that works well with the meat and cheese. This simple addition gives it all another dimension and enhances the pizza-eating experience. If I think of more to say about pizza, I will add it later.



ICE CREAM:
In the interest of being edgy and having an in-your-face, extreme, awesomely outrageous, mountain-dew drinking attitude, I will say something so controversial, you might want to turn off your computer right now. I like ice cream. Yes, I went there. In these troubled times, I believe it takes a man of principle to say what he really believes. But in all seriousness, I think that ice cream is one of the greatest gifts of life and we should all be very happy and grateful it was invented in our lifetime.

Have you ever met anyone that has said they don't like ice cream? I feel like I have and it was a very troubling and confusing experience. You just want to shake them and scream "what is WRONG with you?" Disliking ice cream should be labeled a type of mental disorder and should be an internationally recognized defect of the human mind.

Now, there are many things you can put ON ice cream. In my opinion, most ice cream is fine on its own with no frills. But whipped cream is the most obvious choice for a topping and does enhance the whole experience. What onions are to pizza, whipped cream is to ice cream. Depending on where you live, you may prefer what are alternately known as shots, sprinkles or jimmies. Most people in Connecticut say "sprinkles", but it varies state to state. Just like hoagies, grinders or subs, or even the storied difference between soda and "pop", it is a regional thing. If you live in a place where soda is known as "pop" please just stop now. I would be remiss if I left out hot fudge. Words can't describe the beauty of hot fudge. You take FUDGE, which everybody knows and loves, and liquefy it. You think that would be good enough. But to heat it up is the stroke of genius and to add it to ice cream and whipped cream is almost too much of a good thing.



I have given you an example of a great meal: pizza and ice cream. Stay tuned for future entries about Mexican food, Indian food, soda, various meats and cheeses, and maybe a few surprises!

Snap Bracelets

I originally planned to call this blog entry "A Snap Bracelet Gallery", but I couldn't collect enough material online to make that happen the way I envisioned. I thought there would be a wealth of information on the snap bracelet (alternatively labeled the "slap bracelet" -- it must be a regional thing, like the way certain foods have different names in different places -- see the above blog "Food Part 1 (AKA I Like Ice Cream) for further details on this).



So despite the dearth of information on the snap (or slap, I prefer snap) bracelets, I will soldier on. They were a trend in the early 90's of a piece of thin plastic that you would "snap" on your wrist and it would curl into a bracelet. That's it. This trend caught on like wildfire, and why not? It's utter brilliance lies in its simplicity. Whoever invented these things is laughing all the way to the bank. I guess all it takes is one tiny little bolt of inspiration to come up with a trend that all the kids want. It doesn't matter if people call it "stupid" or "frivolous", it just has to have an addictive quality that easily influenced children want to be a part of. Woe be to you if you do not have a snap bracelet or think it is a dumb idea. You will be ostracized, at least until the trend inevitably dies, then you will be thought a hero for resisting the trend and it will look like you had a lot of foresight. Just kidding.



You know the world is going to hell when snap bracelets start becoming banned, and hated by teachers and parents because kids are cutting their wrists with them. That was the absolute end. Not just of this trend, but of everything in society. With political correctness on the rise at the time, and maybe a few kids scratching their wrists with them, these two things combined to create a furor and an outright BAN on snap bracelets. To my mind, that symbolizes the absolute end, the total weakness of the culture. When you can't even snap a bracelet on your wrist for God's sake, what else is there? What else to we have to cling to? Even the most inane and harmless trend for kids was banned. Unbelievable. It's all over, I tell ya. All over.



Perhaps there is a chance we could someday see the return of the snap bracelet. But kids today fancy themselves more sophisticated. They have their myspace and their facebook and their blackberry and their blackface and their bookface and whatever else in the world, and, sadly...VERY sadly, a cheap piece of plastic you snap on your wrist no longer has a chance.